Tag: change
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If there is no I, I’ll find peace with that as well
As of recent, I’ve been thinking a lot about self. When bad things happen, I often lose myself. I am preoccupied by fear. Too burdened by survival to live. But once I begin to slow, once I regain control, another concern takes hold. A fear of self. The weight of…
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you’d be who I miss the most.
I worry at times that you don’t know how much I care for you. I know if I said that you’d promptly tell me to “shut the fuck up” in likely kinder words, so understanding, but I still worry. I’m not great at showing my feelings, especially recently. Opting for…
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More than a sorrowful soul
I have found the focus on moments to be a positive practice. Much has gone unconsidered and ignored. I hope to live a life free from these events, but I also selfishly can’t allow them to go completely untold. They need to become something. Have been for something. Some punishment.…
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In these paved streets.
It took time before I became angry. When I did, it fueled my escape. I planned to get out. To one day write a tell-all. To document all the mistreatment for the whole world to see. When it wasn’t for me, it was for others. I wanted to be a…
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the document of my survival.
I have vetted the chain of events in my life. Attempting to find a solution. A way to break the pattern. I don’t wish to live my life only outing to the fearful outside from the safety of my lockbox on wheels. Only doing things when accompanied. I want to…
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more than that.
Recently, I’ve been feeling differently. I’ve grown so familiar with these stages. And this one always comforts me. When I feel angry. I never used to get angry; it was as if I was uncapable for so long. So it matters all the more. After an event, I’m swallowed by…